i'm alive. i swear. i need a shower. my hair looks like...well, i don't know what it looks like. lol. it just looks funny. i'm feeling a little better right now...considering i was up all morning puking. yeah. it was pleasant. goddamn stress. boo to that. i'm gone. i need some food.
blah
http://beautifulhell.fotki.com/with_lov
miss narcissism is back. goddamn me for just never being around anymore. mmmmm....yes 
What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla
Bondage movie! You're into BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission) and chances are, you're fond of whips, chains, harnesses, and tight leather outfits. You like to mix a little pain with a LOT of pleasure, baby!
oh yeah baybee. that's me. tie me up and beat me. mmmmm. haha i'm such a weirdo. nothing wrong with liking it a little rough. not at all. oh god...now i sound like a lords of acid song. lol. ::whispers to self:: fucking weirdo. lol.
What's Your Sexual MO? Find out @ She's Crafty
When it comes to handling your honey's in the bedroom (or perhaps the public park or conference room) it's the crazier the better as far as you're concerned. You're what people have affectionately dubbed try-sexual. You'll try anything once and if you like it, hell, you'll do it again! You're an independant, confidant risk-taker who sees sex as a way to express yourself creatively. You're bored stiff by all the been-there, done-that routines and would rather have daring, adventerous sex once a week than ho-hum sheet heat every night.
again. yes. except...why not have adventurous sex every night??? LOL. i mean really. haha. j/k god i sound like a slut or something. boo. that's never good.
i took my placement test for community college. i should get my results in the mail in like 2 weeks or so. i don't know. he said something about 2-3 weeks. so we'll see. i'm nervous to see how i did. i'll probably get all shit classes that aren't even worth college credits and all that bullshit cause i'm stupid.as long as i know i'm stupid we're all good. it won't be a disappointment then. heh...it's not funny either. i'm just nervous. this is serious now. it's college. yeah it's community college but it's still college.
i'm out. i need to brush my teeth and hair and put some clothes on so i can go to therapy.
annoyed
http://beautifulhell.fotki.com/damned/
mmmmm pumpkin pie.
blahwell, not beginning to hate this. i hate it. but i'm beginning to have quite a feeling of animosity towards it. this mood swing stuff. it pisses me off. it leads me toward depression and i hate it. like right now...myke just dropped me off...well, 45 minutes ago and then i went into a whole other mood. i was ok all night. not peppy or whatever but ok and now i just want to curl up into a corner and rot there.
this is so terrible. i think i'm just going to curl up in my bed and fall asleep...hoping i wake up in a better mood.
depressedgod i watch sci fi a lot. or maybe i just feel the urge to write in here while watching sci fi. 'tis quite strange. i dunno. ah well, the vacation was amazing. the hotel was...out of this world. we stayed at the polynesian resort in disney world. omg. it was the most beautiful place ever. we only stayed from friday to monday so we had to pack everything into 4 days. the day we got there we didn't do anything really. me and my mom laid on the beach for a while then we just hung around the hotel. saturday we went to animal kingdom and mgm. that was too cool. we went on the tower of terror and the rock n roller coaster twice each. that rocked. we hot epcot on sunday. and on monday we hit the magic kingdom. then we came home. BOO. but i did miss my friends and myke. boy did i miss them. i was like going crazy without them.
a green army man from toy story hit on me while we were at mgm. he was playing with my hair and he kissed my cheek and he tried to take me away with him. and chip from chip n dale kissed my hand. i'm apparently very appealing to disney characters for some reason. i don't know. we rode space mountain 3 times. it rocked. WOOWOO!!! it seriously rocked. it was so much better than i had expected. :o)
ok. this little girl needs to get some rest. i think i need some refreshment before i do so. a drink of some kind. goodnight loves!
touched
Which Bettie Page Are You?
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You're Nude Bettie. People see you as outgoing and maybe a bit wild. Your often hyper and always up for some crazy fun!
so i go to florida tomorrow. my mom will be home from work in about 4 hours. my sister and i need to be showered and dressed before she gets home. which means we only have 3 1/2 hours to sleep. we want to get some breakfast at the diner first. then we're off to the airport for our flight around 11 am. i'm looking forward to it. it'll be nice to get out of philly for a few days. i'll miss everyone. but....i'll be back on monday. i think. i'm pretty sure.
my cats are pissing me off. jumping in plastic bags and scratching at boxes underneath my bed. stupid fuckers. i am in such a mood right now. goddamn cats. blah.i i still have to pack my carry on. i always do that last. just because i always wanna pack my cd's up last and all.
boo. i'll miss you all. i love you guys so much.
anxious
http://beautifulhell.fotki.com/miss_flu
new peektures!!!! WOOOOOOOWOOOOOOO!!!!
god i love this song. it's so...relatable. did i even spell that right? probably not. amazing lyrics. amazing voice. amazing woman. but not more amazing than my madonna. i did an entire rant about her in my livejournal. she is just so amazing. i saw all of these pics from her sex book today and i was just like "wow" and it made me all hott and bothered and now i'm just like BOO! so yeah, but...she is seriously such an amazing influence on me. it sounds retarded but she is. she makes me proud to be a woman. she makes me proud to be erotic. she makes me proud to have a pussy. i fucking love her. she is a true idol. her and tairrie b. fucking amazing women. they have this "fuck you" attitude. it makes me smile. it makes me feel empowered. it's so lovely.
i saw jenna jameson pictures too. i saved some. i have a picture of her as my background. this gorgeous black and white of her lying on a bed. yum. she makes me hott and bothered too. goddamn them making me all hott and bothered. i kept thinking about myke. yum.
i could go on and on. and i might. if i didn't have to get my little ass ready...i need to brush my hair and do my bangs before myke comes to get me. love yas!!!!
horny
http://beautifulhell.fotki.com/grrl_sco
devious
What's Your Power Song? (Female Vocalists)
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Imogen Heap's fucking scary work of art Getting Scared is your power song. I suggest you download it and play it whenever someone hurts you. ;-)
What's Your Power Song? (Female Vocalists)
brought to you by Quizilla
L7's Shitlist is your power song. I'm scared of you only because your own shitlist is probably pretty damned easy to get on. Just stay away from my car and my face and we'll be okay.
http://beautifulhell.fotki.com/you_cant
the bitch is back. hahahaha
amusedFUCKING FUCKERS. FOTKI WILL DIE. ALL OF MY PICTURES ARE GONE. MONTHS AND MONTHS WORTH OF WORK IS FUCKING GONE.
infuriated x Starting Time: 11:36 am
x Name: Rebecca
x Nicknames: Becca, Beck, Beccaboodle, Boodles, Venus Diablo
x School: Community College of Philadelphia (but not until January)
x E-mail: BellezzaCattiva@aol.com, venusdiablos8n666@hotmail.com, beautifulhell@fotki.com, OmniaVinatAm0r@aol.com
x Eyes: Brown
x Siblings: Kate
x Been so drunk you don't remember?: No way. I always remember.
x Put a body part on fire for amusement?: No.
x Kept a secret from anyone: Of course.
x Had an imaginary friend? When I was little.
x Wanted to hook up with a friend: Of course. LOL.
x Cried during a flick? Last movie I cried at was Save the Last Dance and I can't even remember why.
x Had a crush on a teacher: Haha. Not that I recall.
x Ever thought an animated character was hot?: Hells yes.
x Had a New Kids on the Block tape: Dude, I still have like 2 of them. LOL.
x Prank called someone: Yesh.
x Been on stage? Yesh. It's so amazing.
------------------FAVORITES-------------
x Shampoo: Aussie
x Soap: I don't have a preference. As long as it smells good.
x Colors: red, black, pink, purple, silver
x Day/Night: Night. I'm nocturnal. It's all good.
x Online smiley face: I wanna shoot online smiley faces. Although, I do enjoy the transvestite kissy face one. LOL.
x Lace or satin: Satin is sexier. Feels nicer on the skin.
x Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Yes.
x Love anyone? Yes. :o)
x Who have you known the longest of your friends? Alicia. I've known her for 6 years. Going on 7.
x Who's the loudest: Me.
x Who's the shyest: Jerm.
x Who do you go to for advice: Me. Yeah it's retarded.
x Who do you cry with: Myke.
x Why do you cry?: Mood swings.
-----------------HAVE YOU EVER??-----------------
x Have you ever cut your hair?: Yesh.
x Been mean: Of course.
x Been sarcastic: Oh no...never.
x Met someone new: No. I'm a hermit.
x Talked to someone: No. I don't talk.
x Missed someone: Everyday.
x Hugged someone: I'm a very huggy person. I hug people constantly.
x Fought with your parents: Who hasn't?
x Wished upon a star: Once. And guess what? It came true. :o)
x Laughed until you cried: Yep. Done that many times.
x Watched a sunrise/sunset: Yes. I would love to watch more.
x been to the beach at night: Yesh.
x Read a book for fun: Yes. I love reading. It puts me into an entirely new world.
x Ate a meal: Nope. That's why I look completely emaciated and disgusting.
x Are you lonely: No. Just hungry.
x Are you happy: Very much so.
x Are you talking to someone online: No. I still have my away message on from when I was asleep.
------------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
x God/Devil: No.
x True Love: I found it. :o)
x The Closet Monster: HAHA yeah.
x The Big Bang Theory: It is possible.
x Heaven/Hell: Nope.
x Superstition: HAHA right.
----------------- BLEH? ------------
x What is your full name? Rebecca Prader
x Favorite Band/Singers? My Ruin, theSTART, Queen Adreena, Tapping the Vein, Rasputina, John Mayer, P!nk, Madonna, Linkin Park, Cold, A Perfect Circle, Good Charlotte, Orgy, Videodrone, KoRn, Finger Eleven, Hoobastank, Incubus, Tairrie B, Avril Lavigne, Michelle Branch, Aimee Allen, Kylie Minogue, No Doubt, Ace of Base, etc...
x Last time you showered? Yesterday.
x What is right next to you? My cat and Kate's cellphone.
x What is your computer desk made of? Wood.
x What are the last 4 digits in your phone number? 3095
x What was the last thing that you ate? I think it was those cupcakes I got last night at Wawa before I went out.
x Where do you want to go on your honeymoon? Australia. or Ireland.
x Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with?: That question...goddamn that question.
x How many buddies do you have on your list? 35
x How's the weather right now? It's actually really nice.
x Have you ever smoked pot? No way.
x What did you do last night? Went to the movies...hung out at my house.
x What is your favorite type of shoes? I hate shoes.
x How do YOU eat an Oreo? I twist them apart, lick of the white stuff, and eat'em.
x Favorite food? Cheese.
x Are you too shy to ask someone out? No. But...I don't have to so...
x If you could change your name what would you change it to: I wouldn't change my name for anything in the world.
x Have you ever been in love? I can't say I was ever truly in love before now.
x What will your first son's name be? I don't care as long as it has William in it.
x First daughter? Wednesday or Magdalena
x Favorite Drink? Wawa Lemonade Tea...WOOWOO
x Do you like scary or happy movies better? Scary.
x On the phone or in person? In person. I hate phones sometimes.
x Lust or Love? Both.
x Do you consider cheerleading a sport? Those girls do work their asses off...in bed. WHORES.
x Do you want your friends to do this survey? I don't care.
x Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake: 17
x When is your birthday? November 20.
x Pets: Esmeralda, Phoebe, Gretta, Alf, Otis, and Lydia
x Been to Africa?: No.
x Loved somebody so much it made you cry?: If you're going to love someone, you shouldn't have to cry.
x Been in a car accident?: Yeah. A few days before my birthday too.
x Favorite Movie: Ginger Snaps, House on Haunted Hill
x Favorite Holiday: Halloween.
x Favorite day of the week: Thursday. It seems to be a big day for me lately. Wednesdays are good too. :o)
x Favorite Flowers: Red roses or lilies.
x Never been: to Italy.
x What's bed time?: Whenever I pass out.
x Last Movie you saw?: Stealing Harvard
x Time finished: 12:17 pm
hungrymy hair is still kinda damp. i'm trying not to blow dry it but i want to take pictures. boo. i still have laundry to do. goddamn laundry. i hate my procrastination with it. it just never gets done.
ok took pictures. they're uploading to fotki now. lol.
http://beautifulhell.fotki.com/echo/
i'll post a picture or 2 from the album later probably.
ok so...my life...it's just been amazing lately. me and myke are doing amazing. i couldn't be happier. i mean...i thought when i was with jaqie that was the happiest i'd ever be but i was sadly mistaken. this is happiness. that was a joke. this is real. and i thank angie everyday for driving over here in his car that day. otherwise, i might not have met him or jerm. and jerm is one of my really good friends now. so is jessi. i love them!!!!
ahhh i am always raving on about how fucking great my friends are. :o) that's because they are fucking great. ok so i'm going to shutup now.
creativemy entires have become few and far between...but...it's ok because here i am at 3:18 am writing in my deadjournal. i added 
awww....look at tairrie...all sad and bitchy. i love her. ok enough tairrie worship. lol.
there is too much drama in my old circle of friends. "lesbians" in love with druggies and their fucked in the head boyfriends and confused girls not sure who they're in love with and all of this shit. i'm so glad i don't have to put up with that anymore. i'm serious. drama is my worst enemy. i want to kick it in the knee and run away. i definitely have enough drama in my own life. i don't need anyone elses drama. it's all good though. i'm living my amazing, laid-back life with my awesome friends and my amazing boyfriend and i have nothing to worry about...except school...but that's an entire different story. lol.
i feel so amazingly calm right now. almost zen-like. myke, jessi, and jerm came to my house after we walked around the mall for a little...and myke made pasta for all of us...it was so lovely. no guy has ever made me...well, anything before. especially not dinner. it was so sweet. it made me feel special. and he finally got to see my room. ahhh that sounds dirty!!! lol. not like that. he had never seen my room before so i gave him a...tour. lol. not like i have a room to tour. it's just a room...but i've seen his room like 5498237234792834792384726 times since we started hanging out and he's never seen my room so now he has. hehe. there's nothing special about it. it's just pink with a lot of posters and a bed.
ok. i'm out. i need sleep.
calmi definitely don't update this or my livejournal enough. but hey, that's just me. i am just a procrastinator. or maybe...i'm always too tired when i come home. i have been waking up so early lately that i am exhausted by the time 2:30 am rolls around. it's ridiculous. goddamn tiredness. not to mention i'm on depakote now and i'm sure i'll be like a zombie soon. completely just catatonic and blah. god i hope not. boo to being lifeless and unresponsive.
OoOoOoOo nakie me. lol. just getting ready for bed. it's a bit chilly tonight. i can feel in the air it'll probably rain tomorrow. or maybe that's just from the rain...yesterday? i think it was yesterday. i could be wrong. god my sense are so fucked up. despite the chill i still want to sleep naked. even if this is the last night i do until the summer...it's just so freeing. i feel so...alive when i wake up and even roll around in my bed, under my blanket with nothing suffocating my body. it's so nice.
ok. i'm going to watch this last episode of tales from the crypt and crash. goodnight.
exhausted"melt" - theSTART
one look at you
and i'm tongue-tied
as you move in time
with the flickering light
yeah you're moving with the lights
all i can do
is is to hold tight
as you move in time
with the flickering lights
and follow you endlessly toward the light
and ALL of my faculties have been removed
and i can't help but to lose myself in you
and i will melt
i will melt
i will melt
i will melt into you
and tonight looks like the world is on fire
seven motions, seven signs
to spend it with you
all i desire
as we move inside for the quickening time
c'mon follow me endlessly toward the light
and ALL of my faculties have been removed
and i can't help but to lose myself in you
and i will melt
i will melt
i will melt
i will melt into you
for one look at you
you know i'd pull the stars down
from the sky
for one look at you
you know i'd dash the universe night
just to bring you every light
for one look at you
and ALLL of my faculties have been removed
and i can't help but to lose myself in you
and i will melt
i will melt
i will melt
i will melt into you
for one look at you
you know i'd pull the stars down
from the sky
for one look at you
i would bring you every light
a few words before i get ready to retire for the night...
hypocrits
piss
me
off
thank you.
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